What Speechless Feels Like

Honestly? I didn't really think about it too much. I mean, I knew it was going to be huge - after all, it's not like it's the biggest university library in the world for nothing - but I had absolutely no idea that it was going to be like what I saw today.

I suppose that there aren't that many people in the word who can be struck dumb by books. But it's not as though these are just ANY books. They're dusty volumes hundreds of years in age, stored in a building whose interior is too beautiful to describe. Even I, who love words above so much, cannot come up with a description good enough, nor vibrant enough. I am at a loss. As I walked among all the books, I was struck by the fact that even if I sat down at that moment and started reading, and even if I never ever stopped, it would be physically impossible for me to read all of the books in that library before I died. It's an interesting feeling, the first time you experience sheer magnitude. Some people feel it as they gaze up at the millions of stars in our solar system; others feel the impact of size when they see the ocean, thinking of all the other shores those same waves touch. And me? I felt it when I looked at those books. Go figure.

Things like that keep hitting me here. The air simply crackles with brain activity. Today, I took a walk with a girl from my journalism class who is an athiest; we discussed our different views, explaining to one another how we feel about life and faith and that being called God. My roommate Sheema? Her parents had an arranged marriage. Their marriage was only the second time they had met. Sheema's not sure if she'll have an arranged marriage; she seems to expect it, and it doesn't faze her one bit. Quite a change in philosophy for a girl who is convinced that true, pure love is the only reason for marriage.

I wish that you all could experience this place like I'm experiencing it. The classes, the dining hall (Annenberg), the amazing Widener library, the people... it's better to see than to hear about.

Well, I'm off. Night all!

Natalie

Uhh Uhh...Not Cool

Basically, there was a cockroach in my bathroom today. It crawled around my bag with my shower stuff in it, and I basically flipped out. I'd never seen one before in my life, and I have never seen a creature so revolting (besides that one kid in my preschool class who will remain nameless)! It was just a gross experience that I do not want to repeat. I hope that that yucky bug went back to its home, or, better yet, died somewhere far away from me and my shampoo.

Class was awesome. My journalism professor complimented my article on the rise in lies told by Americans, one of the exercises we were supposed to tackle in class.

This place is amazing. I am in love with its beauty and brilliance.

Natalie

sparks flying in the dark...

to answer your comment, natalie, yes im fine. i was just having a really bad night. oh well its mostly better now.

anyway thats about it. im off today, wooo hooo. i tried calling lindsay, but nobody answered at her house (call waiting, i assume) oh well. sleep sounds good...im exausted. cya later alligator.

sarah

im gonna do it darlin, i could waste time tryin to figure it out, but im jumping anyhow. ive never been this far. didnt know love could run so deep. didnt know id lose this much sleep.holding you close, chasing that moon, spending all night loving just who you are. sparks flying in the dark. shooting out lights, running down dreams. figuring out what love really means. baby, giving you my heart. a real fine place to start... -sara evans

Test Subject #3: Me

Not what it sounds like, really, but utterly true. Today, before dinner, Sheema and I were wandering through the science center, exploring, really, when we came across a sign asking for people who were interested in assisting a grad student with a study for her thesis. Basically, all we had to do was fill out a form about a coffee mug - yes, a coffee mug - and we had to fill out how much money we would spend on it. The girl explained (after we had both received a mug for free for being part of the study) that her thesis was about how different people view different items and their worths,and how people who own things generally assign their possessions a higher worth than others would. It was really interesting, and I think it's cool that I got a free mug for five minutes of just giving my opinion.

Well, that's all, my mood has just changed and I'm feeling crappy. Good night.

Natalie

Basically, I'm In LUV

with my new laptop! It is B-E-A-Utiful according to Joe. My favorite part is that the screen swivels around and lays down flat so I can write on it with one of those sensor pens. I am completely enthralled. I'm actually supposed to be reading Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" right now... I have to read the whole thing by tomorrow... but instead tam writing on my laptop-op's screen because it is so mega - cool. I better go get back to that, though. Shakespeare awaits! I wish you guys could come visit me, that would be M-azing!! Well, I'm off! More later maybe. Probably. II will be hard to tear myself away from this thing I'm like a first grader who's just learned how to read and so goes around making people listen to her read selected passages from "The Babysitters' Club." (Not that I ever did that). But really, I must go.

much love and all that jazz.

Love, Natalie

disapointments suck. thats my new motto. life is nothing but becoming happy and then everyone around you disapointing you. i guess that's why life's a bitch. anyway natalie, im really glad you're having fun.

camp was good except for a screw-up at the end. im tad bit bitter. whatever. shit happens, right?

'night. twisted, swollen ankles are no fun.

-sarah

Sad, But True

Well. Wow. Harvard. Sometimes, it feels surreal, being here. My dorm is m-azing! Really, for a bazillion year old room with no air conditioning, it is super nice. I had my classes for the first time today. They're going to be tough... I don't doubt it. But I'm excited, for the most part. My roommate, Sheema, is really sweet. She's this 4'10" Indian girl, and she's a complete genius. She's taking 8 units of Bio, and if that won't be challenging, then I don't know what will be.

I know I was supposed to write everything today, but, truth be told I am just too exausted. Only two pressing things that cannot wait until later.

First of all, the dining room here, Annenberg Hall, is magnificent. If any of you have seen a Harry Potter movie, well, think of the one in that. This one is cooler!

Also, I'm afraid I have some bad news for my friends who had hoped that I could find them a good-looking Harvard guy. Basically, there are VERY few at this summer school, and the ones that ARE here are already taken - by OTHER good-looking Harvard guys! And this is where today's title, Sad But True, comes in. Sorry!

I heart you all, and miss you all! Or at least some of you!

Bye for now!

Love, Natalie

Quick Hello from, uh, Harvard or Something

Hello everyone! I'm just blogging to say hello real quick...I'm using the computer at the hotel my family's staying at, I haven't gotten my laptop completely hooked up yet.

I'll try to blog later tonight about all the amazing things going on here...I'll write about the campus, my roommate, the other crazy people, my majorly fatty textbooks (think this year's lit book, but bigger) and all that othe Harvard jazz. My first classes are tomorrow...can you say excited? I can. And I'm a bit scared. But I'll write later or tomorrow, scout's honor or something.

Tootles!

Natalie

Horoscopes

I'm not a firm believer in astrology. however, i do enjoy reading the horoscopes in magazines and such, and it is crazy how often they are close to right. i know it is complete and utter coincidence, but it still weirds me out. this past week's horoscope in TV Guide, was one of those. and even though it scares me, i know its true. i want to cry, but i cant. the emotions just not there. it's almost as though i think i should be upset, and i know i should be upset, but in all honestly i feel kind of bland about it. if circumstances were normal, and people acted like a regular person would, it would be different. but its not, and so i say whatever. to quote JoDee Messina (sp?) Tomorrow's another day, and i am not afriad, so bring on the rain. and maybe that doesnt exactly fit but thats what i feel like right now. bring on the new stuff. im ready for it. im done feeling sad over what ive lost. i need to move on. im happy, and summer is fantastic (2 months today. heehee) no more dwelling on how i wish things were.

in other news, i am going to cheer camp! i wasnt supposed to go, but as usual, plans changed. im going sunday night with kathy. im really excited. oh, and she told me that i could possibly get a bid to work as a UCA camp instructer next year, maybe. if i work really hard and impress the people. eeeehh keep your fingers crossed for me!!

saturday morning i have a college visit (eek) at quincy university. im kind of nervous. i really hope i get to talk to the cheerleading lady. ive already decided thats how im picking a school- based on the cheerleading. (among other things of course, but cheer is gonna be the deciding factor) so i really hope it goes well.

but i suppose i must go now...ive gotta open tomorrow at snobiz and i am exhausted. the next week is gonna be crazy.

'night!!

sarah

New Beginnings and All That Jazz

I leave for Cambridge today. In about 5 hours, really. I should be sleeping, but I can't; Joe just left a little while ago, and although I'm sleepy, I'm completely energized. I think that today, tonight, really, has been one of the best ones of my life.

To anyone else who looked at a record of my day and saw all the normal things that went on, they would not think that it has been in any way remarkable. Joe and I started (and finished) packing, cleaned, ate lunch at Nothing But Noodles, went to the Potthast's, went to Joe's house for dinner, went and bought fireworks, set them off, looked at the stars (mm...I have a star...), and just spent the rest of the night being together. Sounds normal, right?

But no one knows the growth of today, the utter perfection. I am extremely overwhelmed.

Good night everyone. I won't be able to blog again until I'm at Harvard. But then, I promise, nothing will remain a secret. Except some things.

Bye!!! I love you guys!!!

Natalie

A New Rule for This Blog

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

That's from Bambi, which obviously proves that even the smallest of children can understand it, so if we can't...I'd say it's rather pathetic.

And no anonymous posting, please. I do agree with the thought that it's rather easy to post whatever you feel like saying if you don't have to be linked to it by a name.

Sheesh.

Oh yeah, and Six Flags was amazing, but more about events later. I'm preparing for my cook out tonight.

Leaving for Cambridge in two days!

Natalie

acro...

i want to do it so bad! i went today with timmy to watch him coach sports acro...and man o man do i want to do it. it soo awesome. all the stuff id love to do in cheerleading, but its super-illegal, is legal in acro. its awesome. baskets with 2 people under them...who'd a thunk. its one of the coolest things ive ever seen. i was going to post a picture, but it wont let me. oops.

and hanging out with timmy was cool. he's probably one of the sweetest guys ever. lol. we made a fun time out of searching for a father's day present for his dad. and then i had snobiz...man o man. we made about $620 in 5 hours. not too shabby, if i do say so myself. =) but right now im gonna jet...im tired and dont wanna sleep my day away tomorrow!!

'night!

-sarah

Starlight, Starbright

The first star I saw last night...was named Natalie Marie Neurauter. Honestly. There's a star up there, in that big expanse of blue and silver, that's named after me. Right in the Big Dipper!

I feel so...wowed. How many girls have boys who would name a star after them? Besides in the movies?

Floating dreamily around the house...

Natalie

"I've got the world on a string, sitting on a rainbow..."

Ode to Waffles

Imagine my surprise when, intending to jot down a cheery blog in honor of belgian waffles (which I have just eaten), I was struck by the fact that my blogs seem to be very popular lately. Ay me! (She speaks.) What am I going to do with this newfound fame?

I'd spend it, if I could, on that purse at Marshall Field's.

Off to read A Midsummer Night's Dream. Not to be a spoilsport, but I still like the characters in Romeo and Juliet better.

I was here to talk about waffles, wasn't I? Ahh how easily I get sidetracked.

Waffles rock my socks off my boxers. (Ask Nicolette. I don't get it either.)

Speaking of boxers...mine are Pooh Bear.

Natalie

Where Have All the Anvils Gone?

I feel invigorated. Free. Completely liberated, once and for all. I feel like the real me; I know exactly who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. I know my entire worth as a person, and honestly, I think I've always known. This feeling is amazing.

Earlier today, Tony won me a stuffed pig from one of those impossible to beat toy-claw machine (with Sarah's money, lol) and everyone's going to sign it so I can take it to Harvard. I'm so excited!! Less than a week away and there's sooo much to do beforehand...

I hope you have fun at your concert tomorrow, Sarah. Today, technically.

Remember all...the zoo on Saturday and cook out at my house on Tuesday!

I wish Joe Siebelts could come :-/

Lunch with Tony and Sarah and Joe tomorrow!

I sincerely hope that someone (this person knows who she or he is) will stop taking out their extreme bitterness on me. Get over it already. Grow up. Live, let live, that's all I'm asking.

And finally, the daily question...where have all the anvils gone? We used to see them all the time, in cartoons as Wile E. Coyote's preferred method of attempting to kill Roadrunner and in all those shoot-em-up westerns. Once, they were so ubiquitous that people knew that kids would know what they were...now, they are a forgotten entity.

Thank you, L, for that thought to ponder.

LOL. Summer rules.

Well, I'm off to go read before bed.

Reading is sexy.

Yes, I do have a shirt that says that.

Backstreet Boys suck, N*Sync forever!

*Natalie*

Life With Noodles

People who think that life peaks in high school are sad, period. No mercy on that issue.

The ACT was not fun. I got a 30 last time, but I needed to take the writing part this time. Nooot good. Oh well, always next time.

I got majorly burned at Six Flags on Friday. Bubble bubble.

We went to Chicago this past weekend...oh wow, where to begin. Northwestern was absolutely amazing, even better than I had imagined...and I have quite an imagination. The campus was beautiful, the courses sound heavenly (or, at least as heavenly as school can be), and the proximity to a city like Chicago is just so great. It's between there and Columbia in New York City now, so...we'll have to see..

Many curses to summer Calculus homework.

Harvard...7 days, people.

Get on the boat...Banana Boat (<-- yeah line from the fall play, which I'm listening to now...yeah aloe vera for my burn...lol.)

Well...I have to take my mummy to the airport tomorrow...she is on her way to Florida. Tootles all...

Natalie

**SMILES**

ps. we need to go to the zoo.

-sarah

I love it that whenever I say the words, "I need you..."

No matter what time, day or night.

No matter rain or snow or shine.

He always ends up right beside me.

Smiles

8 months.

Man of La Mancha.

Cheerleading.

Amazing.

Natalie

cheerleading wasnt as bad as i thought it would be! im almost excited! lol. i cant say i am, cuz as soon as i do, it will all come crashing down around me. but natalie im gonna miss you soooooooo much! it is definately going to be an interesting summer!

there are creepy guys working on my back yard...we're getting a new patio. oh and my basement room will be done in 6 weeks! wooo hooo!!!

but now i must go...snobiz calls!

oh and happy 1 year anniversary to tim and lindsay!!! i love you guys!!!

toodles!

-sarah

Well I suppose that talking is in order...

I wish Lindsay would start blogging again. I really do. I'm so glad to be back and to be writing again that I wish everyone could feel that way. Lately, really, I've just been wanting people to feel as happy and lucky as I do.

I was reading my journal from freshman year a few days ago, all my hopes and dreams and fears about high school. I had recorded everything anyone ever told me to expect, regarding teachers and being a cheerleader and just plain getting through. And, of course, there was that typical line, that cheesy one that adults like to repeat like a mantra, as though it can turn them back into a teenager again -- "High school was the best years of my life."

I've realized that everything I was told was not correct; people dramatize and they embellish. There were no presumptions against cheerleaders, teachers that I went into a class fearing proved their merit, and I usually don't look at my classes as just something to get through. Except math. And why would high school be the best years of my life? Isn't that kind of sad when the happiest times a person can remember are the football games and pep rallies and worrying about exams? There is so much that comes afterward...I feel terribly for those people who think that life starts to decline after high school.

There is so much more.

Get out. Grow up.

Win and lose. Hopefully more winning.

I registered for my classes yesterday. I got into my acting class, and I'm on the waitlist for the journalism one.

Off to see a movie.

Tootles.

Natalie

definately a first...

so twice in one day...damn that hasnt happened in a while.

i did something today i never ever thought i would. in fact, i think ive probably sworn that i would never do it. oops. i did. and it wasnt so bad. a little weird, that i'll admit, but i think it was ok. and ill probably end up doing it again, but thats ok. i dont know if saying "it was worth it" would be the truth, but it really wasnt that bad. suprisingly.

so yeah that is about it. right now i feel disgusting and i smell like gross nasty sweaty-ness. but carnivale's are fun. and snobiz all day tomorrow...ehhhh. its starting to seem like work. it never has before, but its beginning to, more than ever. maybe bc i havent had more than 1 day off from there in over 2 weeks or something? jeez louise. but oh well, it means lots of MONEY. which i definately need. woo hoo.

and i will second what natalie said...yeah life.

nighty night-

sarah

Notes

Traveling is nothing new for my family, especially traveling to Toledo. When we lived in Pittsburgh, we were always driving up here for a spur-of-the-moment family trip. Of course, in those days we only lived four hours away. Living in Missouri, the travel time has doubled but the spontaneity has not changed; only a few days ago, my mother suggested jumping into the car to come here for my cousin's graduation and to see part of our family. So, that puts me here at my cousin's laptop, trying to access my mail and failing miserably, yet blogging as diligently as ever.

Sure.

My summer is shrinking rapidly before me. In less than 20 days, I will be leaving for Harvard and facing all that comes with it. I'm more excited than I've ever been about anything -- but when it comes time to go, my summer is truly over, because school starts the day I return.

Then comes senior year.

Calculus.

Acting for Theatre.

Many other classes to look forward to and/or dread.

I hope summer doesn't fly by too quickly, and at the same time...

Yeah life.

Natalie

just updating for the sake of updating, i suppose. its soo early. ok not really, its 9:30. but this is definately the earliest i have been up in a while. (yeah babysitting) but not for long...cheerleading starts tuesday. damn the luck. oh well, i guess. i have no idea what to think where cheerleading is concerned...i guess the best way is to have no expectations, but i have this crazy sense of forboding, and i am just dreading practice starting. eehhhhh. it should be interesting, thats for sure. i just wish kathy was our coach.

i think im supposed to go to a family reunion today...although im not exactly sure. i dont like this side of the family. i barely know anyone, and they all make me feel really weird...i dunno. its just awkward. but whatever. and tonight, i dont have to work! yay! i dont remember the last weekend night i didnt already have something planned. im excited. yay for spontaneity (sp?). so yeah.

umm thats really all i can say for now, i guess...nothing much else to write. life in general is wonderful, no complaints here. summer is progressing beautifully and i am completely 100% content. ha thats a first. oh and 2 months from today i will be laying on the beach...(and hopefully lindsay will be there with me!) so here's to counting down to that...only 50/60-some-odd days till then...lol.

toodles.

-sarah

Guess What Nikki...YOUR Mom

Point being that Nikki and I share a mom. But whatever.

I got my pictures back for the National Council of Youth Leadership thing, the one that gets displayed every summer at the mall. We took some family pictures while we were there as well, and they turned out really good! Sigh...I love pretty pictures. Now I just have to choose which ones to put on the display...

Tomorrow Joe is coming over early to make me waffles :-D

My family is driving up to Toledo this weekend for my cousin Kelly's graduation. Trust me....driving to Toledo in my mommy's little beemer is not enjoyable whatsoever. But Toledo is always fun...tons of family there, who are entertaining, to say the least...and it will be my first trip of the summer. I think we're going to Chicago the weekend after to look at Northwestern. Yay!

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was amazing! Definitely worth the wait. Aren't our shorts just beautiful?

Well I'm off to Target.

Summer rocks.

Natalie

sarah's shorts! 

natalie's shorts! 

lindsay's shirt!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!!!! Yeah PANTS shorts!