Realization

so i realize i was on here about 4 hours, but oh well. i dont think i realized until now how much i actually miss dana. i talked to her for about an hour today, and its just so different. i dont like to think how at her house its almost 9, and how she's 600 miles away, and how she cant just come over for a lil bit. before i would get upset when she was with mike, and i was all by myself. but now i wouldnt care, i just want her to be here. so its saturday night and im sitting at home. 2 weeks ago i could just call dana and convince my mom to let me go pick her up and she could come over and spend the night. that's kinda hard to do when she's 600 miles away. this just isnt fair. i just feel so lost in everything. everything is moving on around me, and im just stuck in one place, living in the past without focusing on the future. i just keep dreaming about what my life was like 2 1/2 months ago. it wasnt that long ago, but it feels like a different life. i was so happy-go-lucky. everything is so drastically different now. its almost like an alternate universe. theres times i have so much fun, and then theres others when i just feel like crying. i think maybe im bipolar. or just a hormonal teenager. hmm the second one sounds like a better option. god who knows. ok im done. -sarah