The Alien Planet

Have you ever felt like an outsider in a place where you used to feel so right? I kind of know what that feels like now, and it's pretty weird, to tell the truth. I guess it's just part of growing up, moving on, wanting to hold on but knowing that sometimes, it's better not to.

Tomorrow is the first company rehearsal for Beauty and the Beast...that should be pretty fun. I hope this next week can erase the past one, because it hasn't been too good. Lots of conflicts, lots of almost-resolutions. Lots of realizations about the future. It's not that far away, the future. It's like....right there....I can almost reach it. And it's weird to realize that I can't take everything that I want into the future. In just a few months, we'll leave this all behind. People, memories, not everything can come along. It's sad and hard to realize, hard to think about. It's hard to realize that some things that matter the world right now, won't matter at all one day. Think back over the years, about all the faces that have come and gone, about confrontations and arguments that once seemed like they would ruin our lives. We've come past so much, and there is so much more out there. Do you ever wonder if we'll ever see everyone again? If we'll ever all be together in one place again? And how many people do we care about to stay friends with them forever? It's scary. And harsh sounding, I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I just really really wonder. How much would we do differently if we were able to look back over all the decisions we've made and all the consequences that came from them? Ehh it's pointless to wonder, but that fact has never kept me from doing so anyways.

The truth is that soon, we'll be going off...no matter if it's just down the street or overseas, we all have something pulling or pushing us towards adulthood. Some of us will grow up faster than others, and I'm sure that there are a few who will never grow up at all. I'm just not sure how to react when I think about how different everything will be. And how different things already are, just from last year around this time.