One Shoe, Two Shoe, Old Shoe, NEW SHOE

So. It's almost 5 am, and my insomnia is in full swing. I just finished watching the complete second season of Sex and the City, but I'm still awake, counting down the minutes until I have to get ready for...school. For the first time in forever. And I'm terrified. The thought of it actually makes me physically ill. I feel like so much has happened, and that I'm in such a different place now then I was a few weeks ago...I feel like high school is an old shoe that I've grown out of and am ready to donate to my little sister. It's not even a particularly attractive shoe...maybe it was once in style, but it's so worn that it's probably best to chuck it out and buy a new pair. Something shiny. Or foreign. But...I guess I have to walk around with pinched toes for awhile longer.

Joe suggests just cutting the toe off the shoe and plowing on until May. I say no thank you, but who am I kidding? College seems a million miles away, and I can't just coast until I find a comfortable spot to rest. I need structure, I think. Or else I need room to wiggle around in. It seems that whatever I need is never what I have, with respect to time. I'm a rambling mess, but I'm sure the good ol' blog has missed me, no matter who else hasn't.

I'm going to go frost some Christmas cookies...if I fall asleep my first day back in school, it's because I was obsessing over something that isn't even me anymore.