A Reflection

Last night, I had a lot of time to think about things. All throughout my life, I've hated when people have told me that things happen for a reason. I've always regarded that saying as an easy way out, a way of comforting someone about change without actually having to acknowledge that something bad was happening to that person. That saying serves as a way to disregard all the bad happening in front of you, an excuse not to deal with the situation. I still don't believe that it holds any truth, and that is why I have changed it to the following:

For every instance of pain, there comes a new opportunity for happiness.

This saying details what I've gone through in the last few months. When John and I broke up this past March, more people than I can count told me that it happened for a reason. Besides the fact that I wanted to deck every one of them, it made me think about how things DON'T always happen for a reason. Things happen no matter what anyone does, and no matter what comes next. Change does not determine what comes next, it only presents a new range of opportunities to be experienced, and we have to risk pain to achieve happiness. Making the right choices doesn't always lead to joy -- sometimes it leads to more pain -- but that change presents a whole new range of opportunity, and so the circle continues. When John and I broke up, I chose to hang out more with people that I had only usually seen in school. It was easier on me to be with people that I could have fun with, talk to, etc. And now that John and I are back together, there is a neater balance between friends and boyfriend. I'm more confident, more assured, more unbelievably happy. This didn't happen because John and I broke up, but because I chose to make it happen. The break up only presented me with the opportunity that I needed to grow.

The bottom line: Don't take things at face value, and don't fall victim to the belief that from every bad comes a good. You have to make the good.

YNatalieY