my birthday is over...358 days till 17...

i just got home from my grandma's house about 2 hours ago. we left early saturday, thats why i didnt write then. it was fun. me and mandy got along really well, and even me and em didnt fight too much. we went bowling, then back to my grandma's house for gem city pizza and nachos. (you'd have to go to quincy and have it to know how simply amazing it is. i received (oo yea nice verb...batenhorst would be proud)some butterfly stationary (ud have to know my aunt and uncle to understand) a cute stl cardinals shirt, and a beautiful white gold saphire and diamond necklace from everyone together. i finished the 2 books natalie lent me. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and The Second Summer of the Sisterhood. They were really good, i realy enjoyed them. i cried through the last half of the second one. you know its bad when u can relate your own life to a situation in a book that is only similar in the tiniest tiniest way. but im weird like that. when i find a good book, its not just a book. its like a movie that keeps playing over and over in my head until i finish the book and the movie has an ending. god im so weird. oh well it makes sense to me. it got me thingking about a lot of things that i havent been able to just let go, and think about, you know? i just started writing stuff down. (after i snuck through my grandma's house with a flashlight and found a pad of paper and a pencil) i hadnt written stuff down in a long time. i went through a phase this past year when i thought i could write poetry. HA! looking back, and rereading everything in my precious binder, i just realize how much everything sucked. there were the occasional good comparisons and verses, but it was all the same. same stupid rhymes, same 4 line stanzas, about 4 or 5 stanzas in a poem. but last night, at like 2 in teh morning (for some reason the only time i can be the least bit open and creative is late at night. im not sure why. even when i was writing my story for lit, i always ended up at my computer at like 1 am just typing away) i found myself laying in my bed with my grandma's tiny flashlight and a pad of paper & pencil just writing and writing. i ended up with 3 pages (not notebook pages, like if you folded computer paper in half) of semi-good stuff. or maybe it sucks, hell i dont know. but i like it. it made me feel better. it doesnt rhyme. it doesnt have any sort of structure. its just senseless ramblings. i havent decided if im going to post it or not. i might, but not in this one....maybe tomorrow....god i dont know. well im gonna stop here....wow i wrote a lot. toodles. quote of the day...(this is one thing from my writing from last night, i am gonna post this cuz i like it) my tear-stained cheeks are the only witnesses to the true pain...friends of the dark...companions of the hurt... deep, isnt it? wow it looks weird all typed out on the computer screen...oh well. alright im done now. *~SaraH~*