Day of laziness!!!

Eh... today, so far, has been actually very relaxing and nice. I woke up this morning and did absolutely nothing around noonish. Then I watched a little bit of Titanic, always good. And then played with my brother and sister with the hover disc!!! Fun stuff!! Then we decided to come inside and bake a blue cake!! So far its not done, but its definitely intresting!!! And I sat outside and I thought today, as usual, but I beleive I have to be one of the most confused people in the whole world! Sometimes I have no idea what to do or what to think about things! I love all of my friends, so thats not the problem, its about the people who I use to beleive were my friends, who I could trust, who I could confide my most inner feelings to, that I don't know what to do about! I, on one hand, am telling myself that everyone deserves a chance, and that I should not hold grudges against anyone. And yet its hard, those people do not make things easy for anyone. I know they have hurt me on more than one occasion. And yet I still forgive them for that, and I always will no matter what they say to me or what they do, no matter how harsh it is, I will forgive them. But yet, so many tell me what jerks they were, and yes I know that and think that too, but some part of me, wishes not to beleive that, and that is what I am confused about. I know I have forgiven them for what they have done to me, its the letting go to what I used to have thats hard, I suppose. It's the fact that I had once confided in them so much, that they knew everything about me, they knew my worst fear and my happiest moment, they cried and laughed with me, and shared so many unforgettable moments, that it is hard how cruel and unforgiving they now are to me, and that is what hurts, and it always will hurt, because i gave them a part of me, which in return I got nothing. But yet I have no regrets, for that happy year was one of the best years of my life. I have moved on, and I am enjoying every moment that I have growing closer to people that I used to just have a friendly aquantinces with. It's amazing how many wonderful people there actually are, who truly care about you, and look out for your best intrests no matter how weird you may be!! heh!! Wow, ok I just have to put all of that in there, eh... I'm done!! Thanks for listening to my thoughts, even how weird they are!! ~*~Lindsay~*~