Going Back

First day back...always a thrill. The day started off pretty well, with a longer homeroom and lit class. I was highly annoyed in french class, to tell the truth; after how annoying that exam was, I have a low tolerance level in that class. I was able to finish Jane Eyre from all the reading time I got in French and in U.S. history. Ahh....and the delights of having a seat change and getting to sit in the back of the pre-cal class! It won't do a lot to help my concentration in there, but at least I will be able to sleep/read/do other homework in there in peace. Ehh another not-so-cool thing about today...I was supposed to go to cheerleading practice after school, but I had to miss it because my mom needed me to pick up Nikki from school. Leebs was understanding, but only because of how I act in cheerleading. It's a long story, really, about the different personalities I have for different aspects of life. Everyone has them really. I guess that sometimes it may be hard for people to reconcile two different ideas about the same person into one being, but for me, I suppose people will have to make do. Which will explain why one of my friends thinks that I have a certain quality (one that I employ during cheerleading, mainly because I don't care) when I don't at all. But as that sounds extremely vague, I suppose I'll move on to other things.

I'm kind of excited about seeing my new classes tomorrow; granted, both of my new classes are religion ones, but I also switch study halls, and now Joe has study hall at the same time as me. Also, I finally have a lunch with Lindsay! It will be on D days, but honestly...there has never been a year when I haven't had a lunch with her. And there hasn't been a year in which I haven't had a class with Sarah. What is this world coming to? I tell you.

One thing I am not looking forward to is getting back into the whole homework blahness schedule. Christmas break was so amazingly relaxing. I loved the feeling of peace, and the fact that I wasn't stressed about anatomy tests or exams or anything. I had so much time to actually have time to myself; I got to read, and watch Gilmore Girls, and be with my family and friends, with nothing preventing me from being totally focused on happiness. That usually only ever comes during the summer, but this break was really great.

On a completely different note -- college. Well wow...there is so much to think about, all about the ACT and the SAT and all...wow...I am really nervous. I'm taking the ACT in February and the SAT (the new one worth 2400 points instead of 1600, complete with a new essay section) in March, and to tell the truth, I am scared out of my wits. I really with all my heart want to get into two places. Please don't laugh, but I have been busting my butt since, umm, forever to get into them, and I'm still really apprehensive that the Board of Admissions people will look at my transcripts and application and laugh. And then they won't just send back a normal rejection letter, oh no, it will be a ridiculing letter making fun of my pathetic achievements. Actually, I'm not afraid of that at all, but I am afraid of not getting in. And as stupid as this may sound, I would do anything to get into Columbia and Yale. And not Columbia in Missouri, either. Don't get me started on the difference. But I suppose I started this rant just to say that I reallllly need to do well on the ACT and SAT in order to get in, and I'm afraid that I won't.

That's enough of that, though. No more doubt for today. I just get worried sometimes that everything I've worked for will amount to nothing one day. I don't think that I could take that.

Well that's all for tonight. Thanks for reading. Heh that was my longest blog in a while! I feel accomplished. Good night all! Eat chocolate.

God...the chocolate industry should pay me for all of the advertising I do for them.

YNatalieY